Moms: To work or not to work? That ISN'T the question

IMG_5048.jpg

As my kids get older, I can’t help but wonder…what the hell am I going to do with all my time?  Which begs the question, Moms: To work or not to work?  My mom was a stay-at-home most of my life, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Yet, as great as she was (pretty much perfect), my Mom and I are different people.  It took me the past few years but I realized that you can’t fit a square peg into a round hole, no matter how bad you want to. With that, I then asked myself, why was I trying? I had never tried to be someone else before I had kids, why start now? The truth is, as a mother, it’s easy to get lost in self-doubt. Are my kids going to make the right decisions? Am I too strict? Am I not strict enough?  Your actions don’t just impact YOU anymore.  This pressure adds guilt, it adds fatigue, it adds stress.   You’re no longer a free agent.  Take that, and then include society’s parenting opinions, articles, advice, scary information, it’s a cesspool for self-critique.

Nonetheless, in the midst of this perfect storm, I find clarity in my mother.   I think back to my childhood and it wasn’t the laundry she did or the meals she made.  Although these were all comforting factors, I am who I am because of the person she was.  My mom was always happy. She was positive and fun.  She loved us unconditionally and I saw the world through her eyes, a place that was always half-full and as beautiful as one makes it.  It was THAT eternal happiness that stays with me into my adulthood.

So to work or not to work?  Stay-at-home and working Moms sometimes like to confuse the answer by judging one another (we all know the infamous “Mommy Wars”), but I say the answer is a simple one. A happy mom is a good mom.  When you’re feeling lost inside the bombardment of outside opinion, just follow your own internal compass.  Am I happy?  Does this feel right?  There is a lot of sacrificing in parenthood but your overall temperament should not be one of them.  If you’re truthful with yourself, your gut will guide you. Be the example you wish to see in your children. For some, unfortunately this task may be harder.  Some of us may have more challenges and less choices, but we all need to still fight to be happy, EVERYONE deserves that.

The fact is, a kid doesn’t really care if their Mom is at work.  A kid doesn’t really care if their Mom hasn’t held down a career.  Children are adaptable beings, they’ll survive. What they DO care about is that they are deeply loved, cared for, and surrounded by joy.  This is what they will carry with them throughout life.

After coming to this conclusion, I personally decided to go back to work this past year.  I’m taking my time and learning to juggle both lives but I like to think that I fully committed this month by treating myself to an official office! It’s my own sanctuary. I was able to truly decorate this room for myself, no baby proofing, no husband intrusion.  To me, the design represents a self-seeking sort of happiness, a feeling that a mother can’t always find the time to possess.  My mom fortunately did and I’m forever thankful for it.

My Office Makeover

First, I invested in the little touches! 

ta

Pillow found here...

p

Moroccan Pouf found here... 

g

DSC_0836

DSC_1038

Pillow found here...

Chair found here...

photo (1)

Airplant found here... 

Giraffe found here....

DSC_1017

Flamingo Print found here...

new

DSC_1035

a

Pin Board found here...

Next?  I grass-clothed the wall behind my shelving unit.  Then collected my favorite accessories to fill the space!

photo (1)

neww

t

yy

neww

DSC_0966

DSC_0851

DSC_1041

DSC_0973

DSC_0978

 French "No Regrets" Print found here...

DSC_1019

DSC_0992

DSC_0995

Finally, I completed my desk...streamlined and simple so I can keep a clear head.  Here is the finished product. Hope you like it!  (please comment below if you have questions about any items and I will do my best to help!) 

DSC_1030

Desk found here...

DSC_0983

600